When someone has done what we neither expected nor wanted them to do , our attachment to our expectation causes us to be hurt. The hurt imagined or not , causes mistrust to arise within us. To free ourselves from habitual mistrust of others , we have to become aware that it's our response that contains the hurt , and not the other person's behavior that causes the hurt. Realize- it is not what you say , it is what I do with what you say or do that makes me feel this way .